


In the moonlight

by whylime



Series: Our own little family [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adoption, Dan is such a sweet dad, Dan needs sleep but he also needs to hold his baby, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Bonding, Fluff, IM SOBBING, M/M, New Baby, References to Depression, This fic is tender ok, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Waking Up, crying baby, parent!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 03:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whylime/pseuds/whylime
Summary: For all the happiness she brought into their lives, she sure was a handful. Still, her cries in the middle of the night were always met with one of her dads rushing to her crib, bending down to pick her up and feed her, or change her, or simply rock her back and forth (because sometimes all she wanted was attention).OR: Dan takes care of his and Phil's six-week-old daughter in the middle of the night and thinks about her and life and how happy he is.





	In the moonlight

3 a.m.

Ever since Dan and Phil brought her home from the hospital six weeks ago, the little baby had taken over their entire lives. 

Not that they were complaining. The couple had enjoyed over a decade of living alone together and all that independence entails— sleeping inconsistently, working too much, playing too many video games in a row.

After 10 years of soaking in nothing but each other’s company, they both began to ache for something more, feeling an instinctual, paternal tug. They were ready for a new addition to their family.

This led to them adopting their daughter, Rebecca. Who, for six weeks, had brought the couple sleepless nights, busy days and more joy than they’d ever thought possible. 

For all the happiness she brought into their lives, she sure was a handful. Still, her cries in the middle of the night were always met with one of her dads rushing to her crib, bending down to pick her up and feed her, or change her, or simply rock her back and forth (because sometimes all she wanted was attention).

Phil loved to cradle her to his chest, her little tuft of brown hair nestled to his collar bone while he gently bounced her and cooed about how much he loved her, or, on nights when he was really tired, about how much work she was. 

Once they moved her crib out of their room and into the nursery, Dan preferred to sit with her in the comfortable rocking chair in the corner of the room, next to the window, so he could watch her face in the moonlight as she settled down.

Tonight, Dan is the one woken up by shrill cries, and he walks swiftly to her room to tend to the needy baby. Upon noting that her diaper is dry and that she won’t need a bottle for at least another hour or so, he picks her up and sits down with her in their favorite spot. Dan puts his feet up on the rocking footrest as he settles into the chair, holding Rebecca tightly in his arms as he watches her red, scrunched-up face slowly begin to calm

He gently rubs his thumb down her forehead, cheek, then her little chin. Her cries soften to whimpers when he begins to rock back and forth, and eventually they turn into adorable coos when Dan starts talking to her in the light, high-pitched voice that he saves for communicating with his daughter.

“You’re so precious… yes, you are. Yes, you are, my little angel.” He watches as Rebecca stops cooing to focus all her concentration on slowly lifting her right arm, the one not nestled in between her body and Dan’s chest. Dan picks up on what she wants, so he lifts his left hand in front of her face so she can grab hold of his index finger with her whole hand.

Her little fist is clenched tightly around the digit while Dan stares in wonder. She just recently picked up the ability to reach for things, her favorite toys so far being her dads’ fingers, noses and chins. Dan watches her small smile as she grips her prize, and he leans down to kiss her forehead, taking a whiff of her new baby smell. 

As he cuddles with his baby girl in the gentle glow of the moon and the small Winnie the Pooh night light, Dan thinks about how he is the happiest he has ever been. He thinks back to before he knew how to manage his depression, back when he seriously considered ending his own life. It’s not often that Dan thinks about that time anymore. 

Sure, he still has bad days. But as he grows older, his perspective has shifted so much that it’s hard to remember ever feeling like his life wasn’t worth living. Like he had no purpose, like there was nothing here for him on earth. 

Now, Dan can’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed in the best way possible at just how much there is for him on this earth. In this house alone, he has his soulmate and he has his daughter. The weight of his role as her dad is pleasant— it grounds him. He feels an intense need to protect her, to take care of her and love her with everything he has.

He hopes she never feels the way he used to, like she doesn’t have a reason to be on this earth. He hopes he can raise her in such a way that there is never a shadow of a doubt in her mind how loved she is. He knows Phil’s deep capacity for love, and hopes he can match it in his own way so his daughter always knows she is the most loved person on the planet.

Dan looks down at how her eyelashes fan her cheeks, the baby having fallen asleep a few minutes ago, most likely due to her father’s warmth and comforting rocking. It makes Dan feel needed, and loved. 

He stands up slowly, trying not to wake her, and places her gently in her crib. With one last kiss to her forehead, he pries his finger out of her grip and places her arm to rest beside her, the peaceful look on her face a relief to see in comparison with the screaming one he saw the last time he bent over this crib.

He quietly walks back to his and Phil’s room. As he reaches their king-sized bed, he lifts the covers and climbs in beside his husband. Phil doesn’t wake up, but his sleeping form does acknowledge Dan’s presence by snuggling in closer to the younger man’s back and wrapping his arm around his waist. Dan tucks himself in and drifts off to sleep, his tiredness catching up to him now that he’s lain down.

**Author's Note:**

> I have baby fever. But I can’t act on it, because I’m also a single lesbian in her early twenties who is still learning how to take care of herself, and DEF shouldn’t be caring for another human any time soon. This fic series is a compromise.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr! @somethingelseinmymouth


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